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Don’t Be Fooled: Plus-Size Dating Apps Are Anything But Inclusive – Yahoo Lifestyle

As a queer, plus-size woman living in New York City, online dating comes with its own set of challenges. No matter what dating app I’m using—Hinge, Tinder, Bumble, OkCupid—my experience is almost always the same.

Sometimes I’ll receive an opening message like “hey fattie” or “why would anyone want to date you?” Other times, my matches make the assumption that I’m desperate or down to hook up purely based off of my size. But the majority of the time, matches give me the impression that I should feel “grateful” to have been swiped on in the first place.

This happens almost exclusively in my interactions with heterosexual men, and it’s majorly triggering. I had gotten to the point where I’d given up on thinking I could find anything meaningful on the apps at all. But then one night, I randomly stumbled upon a whole list of dating apps specific for plus-size people.

These apps are marketed for people with body types like mine, which is made obvious with what they’re called: Plusr, Curvy Dating, BBW Dating, Chubby, WooPlus, and BBW Plus Singles. Even though this kind of gave me the ick, I thought that perhaps on an app made specifically for plus-size people like me, I could have a more inclusive experience.

I decided to download WooPlus—mainly because it was the least offensive-sounding one. When I logged in, its interface reminded me of a really low-budget Tinder. There was a swiping component and you had to match with people in order to start talking to them. You could also set your preferences to women or men, but not both, so I decided to try out the “men” section.

Because WooPlus doesn’t have the same volume of users as, say, an app like Tinder, the options were extremely limited. My preferences were set to a 50 mile radius around NYC, but I still matched with men from out of state, which was annoying, but whatever.

As I started swiping through the different profiles, I was, well, unimpressed. One guy’s profile said he was “looking for someone with all the curves and is a freak at the drop of a hat.” Another read “big girls are just more to love.” One said “I want my partner to be thick, curvy, cuddly and warm. And could turn her freak on when called upon.” Not a great start.

After matching with around 20 people, the messages started to come in, and I noticed the conversations followed the same familiar pattern. I would ask my matches how their day was or about their profession, and then, boom! Things went from zero to creepy in no time at all.

These strangers, who I matched with only moments earlier, asked me about my breast size, requested nudes or videos of myself masturbating, or if I was down to meet right away.

When I declined, the harassment started. One user said I should feel “happy” someone is paying attention …….

Source: https://www.yahoo.com/lifestyle/dont-fooled-plus-size-dating-172000381.html

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